I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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