just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
