I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
