i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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