All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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