we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
