you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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