Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
