went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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