I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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