dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
