so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
