omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bring me that man meat
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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