woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
