I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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