I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
