I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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