I'm really into asian looking animals
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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