i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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