I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
