Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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