so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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