R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
