I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
