Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
