Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
