I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
