I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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