i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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