No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How does one acquire holy water?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
