That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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