Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my being single is dangerous.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
