What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
