and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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