i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
