The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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