Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
