Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize