My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
