you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
