yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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