thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
