What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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