why didn't you poke me back
i will never coherently bang her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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