I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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