it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
