Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
