when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
