giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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