it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
