I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
