i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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