we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
