"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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