Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Even my vagina gasped.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
