She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
