PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
