If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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