their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
