I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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