apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
