why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
a search helicopter?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
