Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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