I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
