I'm really into asian looking animals
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
