didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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